DARI IMAN ANDA KE HATI ANAK-ANAK

Assalamuaikum ibu bapa yang dihormati sekalian. Seringkali dalam kehidupan seharian kita, kita akan melalui saat-saat seperti ini yang tidak asing lagi. Dan kadang-kala, di saat-saat begini, kita kaget dan sering tersilap kata dalam usaha untuk menenangkan atau memperbaiki keadaan. Di sini saya kongsikan tip-tips bagus yang diberi kepada saya, yang ada baiknya jika ibu bapa terapkan ke dalam minda agar bersedia dengan cara-cara positif untuk memujuk dan memupuk hati anak, insyallah taala,

1— Jika melihat anakmu menangis, jangan buang waktu untuk mendiamkannya. Cuba tunjuk burung atau awan di atas langit agar dia melihatnya, dia akan terdiam. Kerana psikologi manusia saat menangis, adalah menunduk.

2— Jika ingin anak-anakmu berhenti bermain, jangan berkata: "Dah, sudah main, stop sekarang!". Tapi katakan kepada mereka: "Main 5 minit lagi yaaa". Kemudian ingatkan kembali:"Dua minit lagi yaaa". Kemudian barulah katakan:"Dah, waktu main sudah habis". Mereka akan berhenti bermain.

3— Jika anak-anak sedang bertelingkah atau menyebabkan keadaan riuh di sesuatu tempat, dan engkau ingin mengalih perhatian mereka, maka katakanlah: "siapa yang mau mendengar cerita ibu? angkat tangan..". Salah seorang akan mengangkat tangan, kemudian disusul dengan anak-anak yang lain, dan semuanya akan diam.

4— Katakan kepada anak-anak sewaktu mahu tidur:"tidur sayang.. besok pagi kan kita sholat subuh", maka perhatian mereka akan selalu ke akhirat. Jangan berkata: "Jom tidur, besok kan sekolah", akhirnya mereka tidak sholat subuh kerana perhatiannya adalah dunia.

5— Nikmati masa kecil anak-anakmu, kerana waktu akan berlalu sangat cepat. Kenakalan dan kekanak-kanakan mereka tidak akan lama, ia akan menjadi kenangan. Bermainlah bersama mereka, tertawalah bersama mereka, berguraulah bersama mereka.

6— Tinggalkan HP seketika, dan matikan juga TV. Jika ada teman yang menelefon urusan tak penting, katakan:"Maaf, saya sedang sibuk dengan anak-anak". Semua ini tidak menyebabkan jatuhnya wibawamu, atau hilangnya keperibadianmu. Orang yang bijaksana tahu bagaimana cara menyeimbangkan segala sesuatu dan menguasai pendidikan anak.

Selain itu, jangan lupa berdoa dan bermohon kepada Allah. Dengarkan doa kita didepan anak-anak supaya mereka tahu betapa pentingnya mereka pada kita.

Wassalam. 

HEALTHY FAMILY EQUALS HAPPY, HEALTHY CHILD

Assalamu'alaikum dear parents,

A healthy family raises a happy, healthy child. Therefore, it is utmost important especially during Ramadhan to take care of our health and watch what we consume. Doctor Adeeb Rizvi Head of "S.I.U.T" Civil Hospital Karachi, who is a leading kidney specialist has appealed to everyone not to drink cold drinks such as Pepsi, Coca Cola, 7UP, Dew etc at Iftar (fast-breaking) time.

A long day of fasting causes dehydration of the kidneys. Having cold & fizzy drinks suddenly causes the kidneys to fail. So don't drink any cold drinks specially at Iftar. Use fresh water and fresh juices instead. Children consume what is easily available and given to them so be good examples in making better choices during our daily meals. Insyallah instilling this healthy habit from young helps them to be healthy adults in the future.

I hope you and your family will benefit from this. Please enlighten your other family members, friends and loved ones as Sadqa-e-Jariya (charity with continuous reward).

Jazakumullah khair, wassalam.

CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY SEE

Education by Setting Example 

Every parent wants the best for their children. We wish for them to have a bright and happy future. As Muslim parents we always pray that our children are pious and have good conduct, behaviour and values according to the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).

Education for children is very important in a Muslim family. It starts when the baby is born and cuddled in his mother’s arms. A mother is important in a child’s life. A mother is a child’s first madrasah or school for the child. A loving and patient father and mother are the source of inspiration for a child. The environment of a home also influences the child’s upbringing. A learning child repeats whatever the parents do or say especially during their pre school years. Muslim parents is to pass along what we’ve learned - to teach our children values which is the nucleus in choreographing their behaviour. 

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said:

Every born child is born on the original (innateness), then his parents make him a Jew, a Christian or Magan. ( Bukhari)

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) is the role model in Muslim life.The Ever Gloriuos Quran says, “Indeexd you have already had affair example in the Messenger of Allah”. (AlAhzab:21)

To have our children following the example which the Prophet (pbuh) gave in the field of worship and morals is a n ambition in every Muslim family. There are many things that a

Muslim parents can learn from prophet Muhammad especially his ways and values that can help us in bringing up our child. Allow me to share with you some of these great values that should be embedded within us as bases for preparing children religiously, morally, educationally, psychologically and socially.

1. Ar Rahman ( Loving)

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) was a loving man. His love towards his ummah was pure. It was a love binded by the strong faith of Islam. As parents, Allah swt has provided us with love to bring up our children and to educate them as effectively as we can. A child brought up with love will always be kind and loving towards others. If you have to correct your child, do it with a loving heart, objectively and not emotionally.

2. As Sabr (patient)

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) has attained the climax of patience, whether in the harshness of the Bedouins or in his treatment of the enemies’ past arrogance after the victory over them. As parents, patience is an essential ingredience needed in educating our child. As mentined before , parenting is like going on a long journey with your child, one that’s filled with a lot of twists and turns. With patience, parents will be able to through this journey and their children will step ahead with confidence towards their future.

3. Al Hilm ( Kindness)

In a hadith narrated by Imam Muslim, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) praised one of his companion Asadji Abdil Qays,

“Indeed you have two attributes and behaviour that Allah swt likes, that is Al Hilm

( kindness) and Al Anah ( calmness)”.

Parents should always be kind towards their children. Teach them to respect and be kind to others especially towards the old and the needy. Teach them to have compassion towards those less fortunate than them and show them through examples led by you on how to help these people. A child brought up by criticism will always criticize others and those brought up with kindness will propagate love and values around them.

4. Al Fathonah ( Wisdom)

The wisdom of prophet Muhammad (pbuh) is acknowledged by both friends and foes. Here is a great example which was recorded by history so that we may know the wise policy which sprang from his wit and great morals. As parents we need wisdom to help our children in their growing years. A child’s potential should be recognized and tapped. His inquisitive mind and questions thrown to us should be answered appropriately. His faults should be addressed diplomatically. Teach them to take responsibility for their own action and help them to overcome the tendency to blame others for his difficulties. Always speak the truth to them and help them through life’s challenges with commitment and personal excellence.

5. Al Afwan ( forgiving)

Another great attribute that Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) possessed was his willingness to forgive. As parents, having a forgiving heart is utmost important. Children make mistakes and if we keep reminding them and keep highlighting those mistakes they will also keep searching for ours. Show them the values and the tendency to try to accommodate rather than argue. Nurture their ability to understand how other feel rather than simply reacting to them.

6. Al Tawaddu’( humbleness)

The contemporaries and Companions of the Prophet (pbuh) have unanimously said that he was the one who started greeting his Companions, was attentive to his interlocutor, old or young, and was the last to withdraw his hand when he shook hands. This humbleness is another attribute of Prohet Muhammad (pbuh) that should be followed in educating our children. To show who is the boss and complete authority is not the way shown by our Prophet. In giving advice to your children, don’t forget also to take advice from them. Listen! Through listening you may learn many things that can enhance your wisdom.

Sometimes parents are too proud of their child’s achievement. Be very careful not to exaggerate his abilities. To let him know that we a re proud of him is a must; to make him an object of our achievement is a no! Tell them your expectations but remember to tell them your acceptance too. Do not let your child grow up with a lot of pressure to fulfill his parents’ expectation. Teach them to always try their best and be humble when obtaining the best. Make them understand the limits of body and mind, avoiding the dangers of extreme. If their hard work failed, teach them to stand up and try again. For many great leaders took failures and turned them into strength.

6. Quwatus Syaksiah (Virtuous Manners abiding by principle)

The ability to influence and not be easily influenced in any situation and condition and being able to analyze each situation objectively and unemotionally are great qualities of leadership shown by our great Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). Parents whoa re easily influenced by their environment, who do not stick with their Islamic principles, who are jealous of other people’s achievement will not mature in the process of a child’s upbringing.

A child will have strong principled values if they see that their parents’ principles are always consistent in any circumstances. They are not afraid to tell the truth. They dare to attempt difficult things that are good. They have the strength not to follow the crowd, to say no and mean it and influence others by it. They are true to convictions and they follow good impulses, even when they are unpopular or inconvenient.

Those listed above are some great attributes that we should bring with us in our journey as parents. To me these examples of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) are not easy to follow but with Allah’s help and mercy, I pray that Allah swt will always give me the strength and wisdom to carry out the trust and responsibility as parents.

Until then, wabbillahitaufiq, walhidayah.

RAMADHAN BLESSINGS FOR YOUR CHILDREN

Assalamualaikum dear parents,

Today, I would like to share with you some ways to train and encourage children to fast in the month of ramadhan.

1.Before the month of Ramadhan

Prepare and mind set your children for the upcoming fasting month of Ramadhan. Always talk to them that a great month is approaching and what Muslims must do during this month. Encourage discussions, questions and answers about the do’s and don’ts while fasting and always tell them the benefits of Ramadhan as stated in the Quran and hadith. When you have succeeded in getting their interest ask them “So, who will fast in this month of Ramadhan?” Parents and children should feel excited in answering this question. Tell them also some funny stories on how you started training for Ramadhan or how the older siblings started theirs. This will encourage the younger ones to follow their siblings’ footsteps.

2. During the fasting month of Ramadhan.

During iftar.

Prepare your children’s favourite meal and bring them to shops to but their favourite dishes. This is to make them happy and to encourage them. Do remind them though not to overspend, for Allah does not like it if food goes to waste. During iftar, eat together and congratulate each other for the days worth.

During sahur

Before going to bed, remind each other to wake each other up, set the alarm and make dua so that we are able to wake up for sahur. Wake them up gently for sahur and keep an eye on the children, for they are more sleepy than hungry at this time.

While fasting

Be aware not to let the younger siblings not to eat or drink in front of their older siblings who are fasting. And if your young children have started to whine and groan and looking very tired, give them your attention, entertain them, divert their attention to some games or light indoor recreation or bring them outside for a walk. The small children who succeeded to fast the whole day should be hugged, kissed, praised and rewarded and tell them the good news of Allah’s rewards that awaits them.

3. After Ramadhan

It is suggested that we buy presents for those children who completes their training in the month of Ramadhan. Explain to them what the presents a re for and if they are happy to receive these presents in this world, Allah (swt) will give them anything they want in the hereafter. Also discuss with them how they feel and do they understand the values that parents are trying to instill in them during this training.

In conclusion from what has been mentioned above is that responsibility of faith education is important and serious as it is the source of all virtues. It is the main basis for entering a child into the domain of faith and Islam.

So parents should always refrain from seizing any chance of providing their children with training and guidance that consolidate belief and straightens faith.

Lastly teach your children as the Prophet (pbuh) said to Ibn Abbas:

“O young man, I shall teach you some words….”

“……Learn also that victory comes through endurance and relief comes with distress and that with hardship comes affluence.”

Until then, Wabillahitaufiq walhidayah.

CREATING AN ISLAMIC ENVIRONMENT FOR YOUR HOME

Assalamualaikum dearest parents. Hope you are in the best state of health and iman. Allow me in this post to give you some practical ideas on how to create as Islamic environment in your home.

1. Have a library of Islamic books in your house.

To in-calculate knowledge in a home, a mini library should be set up. I have a friend who has a big mini library in her house. It is very organized and full of books, magazines, cassettes, videos and articles. If you have a collection of books, cassettes and magazines, organize them , arrange them properly and make sure they are easily accessible to the members of your family.

2. Developing your children’s interest in Islamic knowledge

To develop your children’s love and interest in Islamic knowledge, here are a few suggestions that you can do:

a. Bring them to an Islamic book fair and exhibits

b. Take time to discuss and explain to your children on current issues concerning Islam and how Islam solves problems pertaining to these issues.

c. Expose them to Islamic videos, cassettes and multimedia. Send them to Islamic camps and other interesting activities that are based on Islamic values.

d. Take then on trips and during the journey, tell them of the Greatness of Allah Who creates the world and universe. Encourage them to think of life, death and life after death.

3. Prepare a special solat area in your house 

This special area should be allocated far away from the voices of radio and television so that it doesn't disturb anybody performing prayer or reading the Quran. Put Islamic posters and calligraphy in this room and at the corner of the room put a small rack of Islamic books and Quran for easy reading.

4. Pray together in congregation

Parents should consistently show good example to their children and one way is to pray together in congregation. Congregational prayers keep Muslims’hearts together and it is a symbol of unity. Make time for this important practice at least during Maghrib and Isya’. If the father goes to the mosque, then the mother should lead the prayer.

5. Read Quran everyday

Discipline your children to read the Quran everyday. Usually it is done after Maghrib prayers. Teach your children to love reading the Quran and if you have a translated version, read to them the meaning of one or two verses from the Quran. Tell them that in the Quran there are reminders, dua, things that Allah ask us to do and what we are not suppose to do, stories and warnings, good news for the pious people and bad tidings fro those who do not obey Allah swt.

6. A hadith a day keeps the syaitan away

After reading the Quran, gather your family together and read a short hadith with its explanation to your family. It takes less then five minutes but the reward is abundance. Rasulullah s.a.w said:

Teach your children three things: Love thy Prophet, love they family and read the Quran…

When your children have understood that Islam is the way of life, inform them that knowing the facts alone is not enough, we must practice the teachings of Islam that are being taught to us. Tell them that everything that they do is their life is íbadah’and will be rewarded. Good deeds are considered as ibadah if it abides these two rules:

a. The intention must be for the sake of Allah only

b. The deeds must conform to the syariah or rules of Islam.

Parents should be committed to educating their children Islamic habits and values. The ideas I shared with you are very practical. If you are already practicing it at home, Alhamdulillah, keep up the good work. If you haven’t its never late to start.